People come and go.....

This was written for the seniors who were leaving hostel in March and for one in special....Joyna!

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People come and people go but some just remain.....forever....you are one of them-

I still remember you coming into the room, to rag, and how I hated all of you for that. You seemed just like the other monsters then. But what changed that then?

It was the time you came to speak to me, just near the door, away from everyone else; you asked me why I felt so strongly against what was happening. And you told me I had to change, be more flexible if I wanted to survive “hostel life”. You didn’t seem so much of a monster then J and that helped. I remember your shock expression when you saw for the first time that there were tears rolling down my face and I remember the Papa Bear Hug I got that day. Chuck the hostel fresher’s, I think it was that day that I'll felt connected to the entire hostel for the first time.

As you leave now, I’m thinking of all the things I will miss in the next year and of all the awesome times I’ve had with you in the past 2 years –

I’ll miss you coming into our room unannounced and uninvited whether it is 7 in the morning or 2 in the night...

I’ll miss you wearing 8^th standard plain and floral skirts...

I’ll miss teasing you about your multi-coloured old ammachy hair...

I’ll miss coming into your room (B9) as a first year and sing vague songs at 12 in the night...

I’ll miss that dirty yellow dress that I was supposed to wear for freshers but wore for your farewell instead.

I’ll miss scaring your fishes, I know they’re still here but I won’t see your scared expression and who’ll emotionally blackmail me?

I’ll miss hearing your name on the corridor, even if I do hear it now, you won’t be here to hear it...

I’ll miss taking you as my elf next year to my Christmas friend...

I’ll miss cutting your hair and making you look pretty...

I’ll miss the time you kept asking for my spare specs; even they’ll miss you...

I’ll miss discussing cbe with you...

I’ll miss sitting late in the night and sharing weird stories with you...

I’ll miss all your useless advice that you’d give...

Who will I fight with next year? There is nobody as strong as you L

Who will come and pinch my one cheek and make me look like a buffoon?

Who will handle me when I’m too Sleepy huh???

Who’ll kiss me goodnight and also trouble me loads in the morning?

Who’ll make funny faces and sit through mindless make-up sessions and also let that be photographed?

I could go on and on without an end, cuz every moment I’ve spent hugging you, fighting with you, staring at you, talking to you could never be recorded in all its entirety ever.

Thank you for being the best senior, the best comfort, the best ammachy, the best brat, the best fighter and the best co-pandi!!!

I wonder what these 2 years would have been if you, Ochu, Monisha, Jeena, Soni, Rini and Shaun wouldn’t have been there. Thank you for touching our lives and being so dear.

This one’s for you....

Love,

Letter to a friend gone beyond....

Dear Amadeus,
I’m so sorry I didn’t call you when I came to Bombay but it was only because I didn’t know you were here already. I heard you planned on meeting me. Then why on earth would you go away from all of us???

I couldn’t believe nidhi’s message which said that you met with an accident and were no more. What reaction would you have expected from me at 6.30 in the morning while I’m on the train going to thane? I just sat on the train numbed and not believing that it might have actually happened. I went to church, met everyone, smiled a lot, said hi’s, taught two songs to the Sunday school kids and quite mechanically, as if it were nothing special, came to your house. It was our very own Maate who greeted me with a tight hug and led me into your room. And there were all the people that I had wanted to meet ever since came to Bombay but wouldn’t have met otherwise. What an occasion to meet them! There was max, chettu, pranky, aneri, mukesh, yullu, Julian and Lyle. We just sat around for the first 2 hours silent. There were occasional tears that fell down from everyone’s face and then the mood changed to that of talking and chatting of old times. I know for sure that’s what you’d want. And guess what the topic of discussion was? How everyone would have loved to hit you, slap you and feed you your own bad vocabulary for having gone for a thrill ride on the bike at 3 in the morning and that too without a helmet!!!

Seriously Amy, who does that? As Lyle says you should not regret anything you’ve done but....

Don’t you regret not being with your parents, your sister, your bro, your closest friends, your girlfriend? Don’t you miss having apple juice at Crawford or gola at chowpatty? Don’t you want to sail the world and be back on the ship? Then why did you leave all this behind and go....?

But now what’s happened has happened. I can only thank God for having brought you into our lives, even for a short while. I still remember the first time I talked to you. I came into the AICUF office asking whether you were an atheist and you spoke so fast I didn’t understand a word! And although I didn’t know you, you just went on and on and on and I remember meeting you randomly in campus another time and you asked me if I was still going around asking people if they were atheists. It’s only after I joined Aicuf that I got to know you and your antics. When I was new, it was you who made me feel perfectly at place. You kept asking what my name was and because you couldn’t understand or remember it, you split it up and started calling me ‘Toe-knee-ta’. I have never known another person other than you who makes another person comfortable by making fun of them!!!

You were truly a pain sometimes, talking when you needn’t and purposely saying things that would irritate others. But you were a charmer nonetheless and now that you aren’t here amidst us, we’re going to miss all of this.

I hope you’re having fun wherever you are, I know you will. Don’t trouble God too much. He’s called you there to be one of his angels (and that thought itself cracks me up!), you should fulfil your responsibility.

I have a friend there called Nino, who left our midst on Jan 8th. It comforts me to know that I have 2 guardian angels now :) thanks for everything Amy....I cherish all our memories.

Love you bro.

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On the 10th of this month, i lost another dear friend, Amy. He was riding the bike at 3 in the morning and went and hit a divider. This letter was written as soon as i got back from his house that day.

Dubai and a few pointers...

I recently went to Dubai and thoroughly enjoyed myself there. My 2 weeks there bring home a few observation :
-swish and swank
- multi lane roads
- home to the most exquisite and latest cars
- also home to any mall lover who loves to aimlessly roam around malls
- has some of the tallest buildings with the most interesting glass panels
- has the most artificial feel any city could have
- have also some of the worst labour camps
- although supposedly modern and cosmopolitan – people have no real rights to voice opinions or show concern.
- city purely built for people with money on them which will be spent in the city malls as fast as they earn it.
Dubai – ‘Do Buy’ (I read this somewhere and it holds completely true to what the city is all about!!!)

The magic of Serendipity!

Serendipity –chance, karma, destiny, providence, luck, fortune, fate.

Those are just some of the words that explain what Serendipity means. I agree with Kate Beckinsale when she says in the movie with the same name that it indeed is a beautiful word. Other than the syllabic amusement of the word, the meaning really befuddled me 3 years ago. But I was naïve and life’s gone through so many twists and turns since then. My favoritest meaning of the word comes from the movie itself – fortunate accident.

I’ve been lucky to have had more than one and the magic still remains. I think Serendipity for me has been meeting all those wonderful friends who in their small ways have managed to make an impact on my life. Serendipity has been having the closest bonds with the most unlikeliest people. Serendipity has been landing in a family which is perfect, loving, crazy and enthusiastic. Serendipity has been landing in colleges that have truly taught me innumerable number of things about life – be it Xavier’s or Christ!!!

What more could I have asked for???

Thank you God…..for Serendipity!

To the Greek Knight :

This is one of my personal ramblings that might perhaps not make much sense but every phrase and every sentence by itself has a lot of meaning to it...

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Faceless and voiceless I met you. Something about your words made me trust you. Didn’t take long for me to fall in love with you. But it took long to set the grounds.

You were my only help when I moved from home to hell, the only commonality between the two. You were a friend, a guide, a lover, a comfort and even my bitch when need be. You kept the hopes high and the panic down. And life seemed like a skating ground then. But little did I know, not having scraped my knee while learning it would cause the pain, when I eventually fall, to linger and hurt more than ever.

17 months saw a lot of things: being a “majnu” of the name, weekend getaway offers, listening to all the office gossip and troubles, release of ‘The Aicufer’ {phew}, an awesome ’07 start with a 2 am call {grins}, an even better Jan 3^rd with a 6 min 49 sec conversation, and a 3 month hiatus after that (or so it seemed) from all worldly connections and bonds {sigh}. Then came May 30^th – 1246. Nice na? Of course nice, it meant the entry to my city, my home, my weakness.

Welcoming me to a city unknown in June, a city that I would soon call my residence for the next 3 years, missed calls to an old number, conversation with Mr. Zach, seeing me through a disappointing and rotting friendship in July, disapproving my marriage with Thommachen on Aug 1^st (and also slyly accepting to take his place), and then comes a very life changing Aug 4^th- where one relationship decided to end (although at that time temporarily, proved to be quite permanent later) and another one blossomed through the rainy, moist and hazy weather. “Go to sleep. Get up bright, and let nothing ruin this new beginning.” Could there be a better line?

Richard Marx ruled the month with his song ‘Right here waiting for you’ and so did Sting with ‘Fields of Gold’. Rains soon became the messengers while faithful knights begged the lovers to keep their eyelids open to hear the voice of honey! Surprises were galore in the mystical month when Christ was born. As the choir sang Magnify the Lord, Continental and Chinese food with a good measure of ice-cream were being served to people meeting each other for the very first time. But these people knew each other more than anybody else around. Was that the problem then? Shivers were galore and shawls were shared. Soon they met again, at the lake, for lunches-one more beautiful and memorable than the other, at movies (all teary eyed), going from one house to another, meeting a few adults, escaping others, attending awesome birthday parties, and exploring all modes of transport from the local train to bus to auto to taxi. Walks were tricky, one on the road, one on the pavement. A black wallet couldn’t have come at a better time (which is still being used) and of course progression was seen from a call to a jive as a ’08 start.

Being carted around in the luggage trolley at the airport is fun; try it if you don’t know what it feels like. It’s said goodbyes are never happy, we rarely do see one. Goodbyes should be sad and droopy. Now what happens if that doesn’t happen? Then does Fate make sure that tears will be shed, that there shall be no compromise on a sad goodbye? If not at that moment then later perhaps? Something like that happened. Exactly a year before, the hiatus had just lifted, and now a year later, things changed forever. April Fool’s Day will never be a joke again. Never a day to play around with someone, if you know what it’s like to be played around with. Ironically, John Denver didn’t just sing Annie’s Song, he also sang ‘Leaving on a Jet Plane’, if you know what I mean...

Our life is indeed a circle. We always end up where we started from. Faceless and voiceless. But the experience shatters you, breaks you, takes away every belief you’ve had and makes you feel like a rose, that after a lot of deliberation dared to blossom and before it sprang to life, was nipped in the bud. What happens to it after that? It lays there, dried and rotten, lifeless. Life isn’t like the fairy tales. We’ve grown up learning how every story has a happy ending, but switch back to reality, POOF, no happy ending my friend! Have you heard from the Dead Pigeons? It’s said they met an unfortunate death.

Greek Knights aren’t sitting there jobless, there are many games to be played, many Budweiser’s to be had and many damsels waiting. Greek Knights might make promises but they don’t need to fulfil them. But what happens to that Sinless Nymph who’s been left hanging? We need to wait and see. Will she ever raise herself out of the mess of her broken self? Will the new bud dare to dream or believe and decide to blossom? Or will it opt instead to play an Oscar winning role in the movie called Life. The world doesn’t have time enough to pamper and take care of every fallen Nymph, the Sinless One will just have to pick oneself up and pretend (until of course one can) that smiles are the answer to every problem one encounters.

So as we reach the same juncture but in another year, we can only wait and watch for the changes that ’09 will bring. Here’s to an awesomely confusing and dreaded year, hopefully the Sinless Nymph will be healed and the broken shards will be brought together. But as in the fairy tales, it all depends on the Greek Knights. Surprise me, mister!

The journey's over :(

As the journey ends, you begin to feel empty spaces. The void only grows bigger and you can feel the rising incompleteness. It’s never noisy when the journey comes to an end, it’s all peaceful and quiet, like everyone around you feels the same too. When in the auto you sit with 2 people on either sides and the cool night breeze hits you, it reminds you of the times when you sat in the bus with 60 others and fought desperately for some air to come and hit you and give you relief from the sweltering heat and the sweat that soaks your body. When you sit there reminiscing about the 3 days that were filled only with either music or talking, the silence cuts through the self hurting the insides, making you more aware of the loneliness and exhaustion. And then you wish the good times had never ended and that life went on in that city with the 60 others, laughing, gossiping, seeing people faint, being responsible, teasing, getting teased and worrying about nothing other than your belongings you carry. And as the journey ends, you also realize the bonds have been made stronger than ever, it doesn’t matter whether you’re young or old, weak or strong, you feel loved anyway, and that’s all that matters 

Slumdog...NAH! Rahman...YEAH, You Deserve It!!!!

TWO Oscars.......absolutely fantastic! Congratulations Rahman :) I'm really glad he got it. Although, all Rahman lovers and lovers of music would agree that 'Jai Ho' was def not his best song. There are several other masterpieces that are far more superior in composition and music. The background score for Slumdog Millionaire was really good but how did songs like Ringa Ringa add to the film? But still as a culmination for all the brilliant songs he’s churned out over the years, the Oscars were def deserved by him!!!

But what's with all the hype and publicity and unnecessary media coverage given to the 8 kids going to Disneyland and their parents coming in last minute and how that was a problem? Truly this has been discussed and written about everywhere and by everyone but how can one keep quiet when you see an Anil Kapoor at every function and party going all ga-ga and showing happiness that doesn't seem to deplete at all!!! And did anyone see him touch Danny Boyle's feet? Whoa, now what was that? Since when did Indian 'superstars' start touching low budget 'firang' director's feet? Although nothing seems to be Wrong about it....and the tradition says that you touch the feet of all those who are elder to you, I would like to know how many times Mr. Kapoor would have done that when the world media was covering the event?

And for all those who Indians who think there is no better made movie made on Bombay and its poverty and other issues, please do give Chandni Bar, Traffic Signal and Bombay a watch!